Porfolio Reflection

I think that my strength as a writer is putting detail into things. I'm not always good at coming up with stories or thinking of what to write about. But I am good at putting a lot of detail and information into my pieces. It takes me a while to write a long story because I have to think of what to write about and I have to do research to figure out what I'm putting together. My punctuation isn't always the best, but I figure it all out as I go along. Sometimes I just write things down, and when I'm finished with the thing I'm writing, I go back through and do a lot of fixing.

Best Piece Reflection

I think my memoir was my best piece because I put a lot of thought and a lot of detail into that piece. I really tried putting all my thoughts and all the things I remembered into it. It took me a while but it was worth it!

8) Write compositions with a variety of sentence structures and lengths (simple, compound, complex, compound-complex)

My name is Jeremy, and I am a student at West High Marshall Elementary. I'm a 5th grader. This might be easy to believe, but 5th grade is hard! All the teachers do is give you homework. All those girls, oh my gosh those girls! They are so loud and annoying! But other than that, me and my friends just mess around, we cause a lot of trouble for the teachers because we don't like them. One time, my friend Bob put tacks on the teachers desk chair. She didn't even notice! So she sat on them! It was so funny! But we all got in trouble for laughing. It was stupid.

simple: But we all got in trouble for laughing.
compound: My name is Jeremy, and I am a student at West High Marshall Elementary.
complex: This might be easy to believe, but 5th grade is hard!
compound complex: But other than that, me and my friends just mess around, we cause a lot of trouble for the teachers because we don't like them.

----I thought this paragraph had good simple, compound, complex, and compound complex sentences. They aren't super detailed or anything but they have the things they need for the sentences.

7) Demonstrate correct grammar and sentence structure.

I finally woke them up and told them what happened. At the time I was 8, my little sister, Nicole, was 5, my older brother, Kyle, was 14. My sister didn't understand, but my brother did. He was the closest to my dad, I think. I always remember my dad playing Barbie's with my sister and I. Yeah, it does seem kind of funny for a guy to be playing Barbie's, but he didn't care. He did it anyway. He took my brother to a car show just about a week before. My dad was a great father. In my book, he was the best father anyone could ever have.

----I think that this paragraph has good punctuation and good grammer. I didn't see any things that looked wrong to me. Some of the sentences have a lot combined sentences because I didn't want it to sound choppy and short.

6) Use a variety of techniques effectively to provide supportive detail in writing (snapshot, similes/metaphors, explosions, and dialogue)

It was July 7th, 2004. I remember all the details clearly. It was somewhere around 4:30 in the morning. I woke up to my mom running to the door. I lay there, frozen, just waiting for something to happen. I was just thinking, 'What's going on?' And so many more questions. Then I remember my mom burst out crying. I shot up, stilled for a second, then got out from under the covers. I ran through everything, leaving all behind me. As soon as I could see what was going on, I stopped. Frozen, like a block of ice unable to melt. I stared at my mother, then the cop. Not knowing why he was there. I felt dumb, like I should know what was going on. I didn't know what to say, or think, or even do. I wanted to speak but there was nothing coming out. It felt like I had a big lump in my throat. I don't know how I knew, but I knew that it did involve my father. The cop helped my mother get up off the floor. She looked useless, or flimsy. She layed on the couch, and there I joined her. I remember her telling me what happened. I knew she was leaving out details; she didn't want to tell me the details because she didn't want me to remember my dad living through that. She could barely even speak. I understood my mom very well. I started crying, and I didn't know what to think. I acted very mature for an 8 year old in this situation. I was really confused at first. I had all these questions, like 'Why did it have to be him?' 'Why was it now?' I couldn't help myself from crying. I wanted to wake up my brother and sister. Mom wouldn't let me till about an hour later.

----I chose this paragraph again because it gives you a really good snapshot of what is going on at the time. A lot of emotion and thought. This is the main part of what my memoir is about. It's one of the first important things that was put into the memoir.

5) Write with strong organization and coherence.

At first, it felt like a dream. Then a couple months later, it hit me. Reality knocked at my door and said, “It's real.” I didn't want to answer the door, and I didn't want to believe what it just told me, but I knew I would have to believe it sooner or later. I knew I have to be strong through it, for my family and for myself. It seemed as though, I, was left alone in the universe, because I wasn't one to really tell my friends or family my feelings. But yet I could just cry. Sometimes, I'de cry myself to sleep, or just burst out crying when I passed by his truck or his bedroom. It was tough, but now 6 years have passed. So I don't cry as much. At first, it felt like a dream. Then a couple months later, it hit me. Reality knocked at my door and said, “It's real.”

----I think that this paragraph flows well because it doesn't quite have a certain subject. It's just talking about something you don't quite know everything of yet. This is the beginning paragraph of my memoir. This is what I felt would be good to but at the beginning of t=my memoir because it starts mysterious.

4) Use strategies for editing

It was July 7th, 2004. I remember all the details clearly. It was somewhere around 4:30 in the morning. I woke up to my mom running to the door. I lay there, frozen, just waiting for something to happen. I was just thinking, 'What's going on?' And so many more questions. Then I remember my mom burst out crying. I shot up, stilled for a second, then got out from under the covers. I ran through everything, leaving all behind me. As soon as I could see what was going on, I stopped. Frozen, like a block of ice unable to melt. I stared at my mother, then the cop. Not knowing why he was there. I felt dumb, like I should know what was going on. I didn't know what to say, or think, or even do. I wanted to speak but there was nothing coming out. It felt like I had a big lump in my throat. I don't know how I knew, but I knew that it did involve my father. The cop helped my mother get up off the floor. She looked useless, or flimsy. She layed on the couch, and there I joined her. I remember her telling me what happened. I knew she was leaving out details; she didn't want to tell me the details because she didn't want me to remember my dad living through that. She could barely even speak. I understood my mom very well. I started crying, and I didn't know what to think. I acted very mature for an 8 year old in this situation. I was really confused at first. I had all these questions, like 'Why did it have to be him?' 'Why was it now?' I couldn't help myself from crying. I wanted to wake up my brother and sister. Mom wouldn't let me till about an hour later.

----I edited this paragraph a lot because I wanted the reader to really understand how me and my mom felt when this happened. Yes it's a long paragraph but it has a lot of descriptions in it.