Porfolio Reflection

I think that my strength as a writer is putting detail into things. I'm not always good at coming up with stories or thinking of what to write about. But I am good at putting a lot of detail and information into my pieces. It takes me a while to write a long story because I have to think of what to write about and I have to do research to figure out what I'm putting together. My punctuation isn't always the best, but I figure it all out as I go along. Sometimes I just write things down, and when I'm finished with the thing I'm writing, I go back through and do a lot of fixing.

Best Piece Reflection

I think my memoir was my best piece because I put a lot of thought and a lot of detail into that piece. I really tried putting all my thoughts and all the things I remembered into it. It took me a while but it was worth it!

8) Write compositions with a variety of sentence structures and lengths (simple, compound, complex, compound-complex)

My name is Jeremy, and I am a student at West High Marshall Elementary. I'm a 5th grader. This might be easy to believe, but 5th grade is hard! All the teachers do is give you homework. All those girls, oh my gosh those girls! They are so loud and annoying! But other than that, me and my friends just mess around, we cause a lot of trouble for the teachers because we don't like them. One time, my friend Bob put tacks on the teachers desk chair. She didn't even notice! So she sat on them! It was so funny! But we all got in trouble for laughing. It was stupid.

simple: But we all got in trouble for laughing.
compound: My name is Jeremy, and I am a student at West High Marshall Elementary.
complex: This might be easy to believe, but 5th grade is hard!
compound complex: But other than that, me and my friends just mess around, we cause a lot of trouble for the teachers because we don't like them.

----I thought this paragraph had good simple, compound, complex, and compound complex sentences. They aren't super detailed or anything but they have the things they need for the sentences.

7) Demonstrate correct grammar and sentence structure.

I finally woke them up and told them what happened. At the time I was 8, my little sister, Nicole, was 5, my older brother, Kyle, was 14. My sister didn't understand, but my brother did. He was the closest to my dad, I think. I always remember my dad playing Barbie's with my sister and I. Yeah, it does seem kind of funny for a guy to be playing Barbie's, but he didn't care. He did it anyway. He took my brother to a car show just about a week before. My dad was a great father. In my book, he was the best father anyone could ever have.

----I think that this paragraph has good punctuation and good grammer. I didn't see any things that looked wrong to me. Some of the sentences have a lot combined sentences because I didn't want it to sound choppy and short.

6) Use a variety of techniques effectively to provide supportive detail in writing (snapshot, similes/metaphors, explosions, and dialogue)

It was July 7th, 2004. I remember all the details clearly. It was somewhere around 4:30 in the morning. I woke up to my mom running to the door. I lay there, frozen, just waiting for something to happen. I was just thinking, 'What's going on?' And so many more questions. Then I remember my mom burst out crying. I shot up, stilled for a second, then got out from under the covers. I ran through everything, leaving all behind me. As soon as I could see what was going on, I stopped. Frozen, like a block of ice unable to melt. I stared at my mother, then the cop. Not knowing why he was there. I felt dumb, like I should know what was going on. I didn't know what to say, or think, or even do. I wanted to speak but there was nothing coming out. It felt like I had a big lump in my throat. I don't know how I knew, but I knew that it did involve my father. The cop helped my mother get up off the floor. She looked useless, or flimsy. She layed on the couch, and there I joined her. I remember her telling me what happened. I knew she was leaving out details; she didn't want to tell me the details because she didn't want me to remember my dad living through that. She could barely even speak. I understood my mom very well. I started crying, and I didn't know what to think. I acted very mature for an 8 year old in this situation. I was really confused at first. I had all these questions, like 'Why did it have to be him?' 'Why was it now?' I couldn't help myself from crying. I wanted to wake up my brother and sister. Mom wouldn't let me till about an hour later.

----I chose this paragraph again because it gives you a really good snapshot of what is going on at the time. A lot of emotion and thought. This is the main part of what my memoir is about. It's one of the first important things that was put into the memoir.

5) Write with strong organization and coherence.

At first, it felt like a dream. Then a couple months later, it hit me. Reality knocked at my door and said, “It's real.” I didn't want to answer the door, and I didn't want to believe what it just told me, but I knew I would have to believe it sooner or later. I knew I have to be strong through it, for my family and for myself. It seemed as though, I, was left alone in the universe, because I wasn't one to really tell my friends or family my feelings. But yet I could just cry. Sometimes, I'de cry myself to sleep, or just burst out crying when I passed by his truck or his bedroom. It was tough, but now 6 years have passed. So I don't cry as much. At first, it felt like a dream. Then a couple months later, it hit me. Reality knocked at my door and said, “It's real.”

----I think that this paragraph flows well because it doesn't quite have a certain subject. It's just talking about something you don't quite know everything of yet. This is the beginning paragraph of my memoir. This is what I felt would be good to but at the beginning of t=my memoir because it starts mysterious.

4) Use strategies for editing

It was July 7th, 2004. I remember all the details clearly. It was somewhere around 4:30 in the morning. I woke up to my mom running to the door. I lay there, frozen, just waiting for something to happen. I was just thinking, 'What's going on?' And so many more questions. Then I remember my mom burst out crying. I shot up, stilled for a second, then got out from under the covers. I ran through everything, leaving all behind me. As soon as I could see what was going on, I stopped. Frozen, like a block of ice unable to melt. I stared at my mother, then the cop. Not knowing why he was there. I felt dumb, like I should know what was going on. I didn't know what to say, or think, or even do. I wanted to speak but there was nothing coming out. It felt like I had a big lump in my throat. I don't know how I knew, but I knew that it did involve my father. The cop helped my mother get up off the floor. She looked useless, or flimsy. She layed on the couch, and there I joined her. I remember her telling me what happened. I knew she was leaving out details; she didn't want to tell me the details because she didn't want me to remember my dad living through that. She could barely even speak. I understood my mom very well. I started crying, and I didn't know what to think. I acted very mature for an 8 year old in this situation. I was really confused at first. I had all these questions, like 'Why did it have to be him?' 'Why was it now?' I couldn't help myself from crying. I wanted to wake up my brother and sister. Mom wouldn't let me till about an hour later.

----I edited this paragraph a lot because I wanted the reader to really understand how me and my mom felt when this happened. Yes it's a long paragraph but it has a lot of descriptions in it.

3) Use strategies for revising

original: I woke up on Monday. Yes, a Monday, one of the worst days of the week. Because the weekend is just over and you're all tired, but you still have school. It frustrates me a lot. I wish we only had 5 hours of school. Like people in Germany have. Well at least that's what our social studies teacher, Mr. Cash said.

revised: I woke up on Monday. Yes, one of the worst days of the week, Monday. The only reason that it is the worst day, is because the weekend just got over and everyone is tired. But we all have to go to school. It makes me mad! Our social studies teacher Mr. Cash said that people in Germany only have like 5 days of school. Why can't we do that?

2) Use strategies for drafting

Back to my story. One day, when me and Bob were walking into the classroom, everyone was freaking out. There was a giant elephant in the room. On his back were 2 crocodiles, and on the crocodiles back there were 4 hummingbirds. The girls were all screaming and running around the room, and the boys were trying to trip the girls. When all of the students calmed down, the elephant began to talk. He said, “ My name is Elfred the elephant and I enjoy giving crocodiles rides on my back.” The crocodiles then said in unison, “ Cricky mate, we are Crile and Creel the crocks.” The hummingbirds then gracefully floated down from the crocodiles back and said, “ Our names are Humphrey, Hueford, Hubert, and Scott. We don't like Scott very much, but he follows us around anyway.” Just then a rainbow BUSTED through the ceiling! In an explosion of colorful debris a magical unicorn appeared. It said, “My name is Larry, I have come to bring you all on a journey. A journey to Candy Island.” All of us cheered! We were so excited! So we all jumped on the rainbow. All the sudden it started moving. It felt like we were on a magical airplane.

----This is just my Choice #2 that I just didn't do anything with. I just came up with it and didn't bother doing anything special. This is just something silly that I thought would be fun to write about.

1) Use strategies for brainstorming!

It was July 7th, 2004. I remember all the details clearly. It was somewhere around 4:30 in the morning. I woke up to my mom running to the door. I lay there, frozen, just waiting for something to happen. I was just thinking, 'What's going on?' And so many more questions. Then I remember my mom burst out crying. I shot up, stilled for a second, then got out from under the covers. I ran through everything, leaving all behind me. As soon as I could see what was going on, I stopped. Frozen, like a block of ice unable to melt. I stared at my mother, then the cop. Not knowing why he was there. I felt dumb, like I should know what was going on. I didn't know what to say, or think, or even do. I wanted to speak but there was nothing coming out. It felt like I had a big lump in my throat. I don't know how I knew, but I knew that it did involve my father. The cop helped my mother get up off the floor. She looked useless, or flimsy. She layed on the couch, and there I joined her. I remember her telling me what happened. I knew she was leaving out details; she didn't want to tell me the details because she didn't want me to remember my dad living through that. She could barely even speak. I understood my mom very well. I started crying, and I didn't know what to think. I acted very mature for an 8 year old in this situation. I was really confused at first. I had all these questions, like 'Why did it have to be him?' 'Why was it now?' I couldn't help myself from crying. I wanted to wake up my brother and sister. Mom wouldn't let me till about an hour later.

---For this paragraph I really had to think of all the different little things to put in it. I had to really brainstorm and think back through my thoughts and remember exactly what happened. If you're brainstorming and it doesn't have to do with a memoir you can always to research. Like look up on the internet things you need to find out. Or if does pertain to something real life, just dig back through your thoughts and try to remember everything. :)

Dedication, Passion, Dreams, and Progress. :)

DEDICAITON
~ I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday. -Unknown Author. Dedication isn't thinking about how good you are, it's about picking out different things that you aren't good at and working on them. If you aren't doing the best you think you can, you aren't there yet. But you are better than you were yesterday. The dictionary says that dedication is the quality of being dedicated or committed to a task or purpose. You have to be dedicated to something to succeed at it. Dedication leads to reaching your goal in whatever you are doing. When you are dedicated to a sport or whatever your are doing, you don't just go into it saying, “Oh, I don't care about this. I'm good at it. So it doesn't matter,” you go into it saying, “I can do this. I care about this.” You go above and beyond what you were assigned to get even better. You work as hard as you possibly can on it. Dedication is being committed to something you care about, you have a push to do good, and you have a passion for it.

PASSION
~ Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. -Carl W. Buechner. Passion is having a love for whatever you're doing. It's also like living for something that you love so much, that it's your life. The dictionary states that passion is a strong and barely controllable emotion; an intense desire or enthusiasm for something. Some people don't think of it as an emotion, they think of it as a thought. Yes, it is a thought but it's more of an emotion because it's something that you feel that is right to you, something that you feel that you know you love. Passion is having a desire to love what you're doing, to feel what is right, and to be dedicated.

DREAMS
~Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe. -Gail Devers. Dreams are what you really wish to do. Sometimes your dreams can come true. The dictionary says that dreams are a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep; a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal. Dreams aren't just went you sleep, but also your real life wishes. They are something you really strive for, something you really want to happen. Sometimes things don't always turn out right in them, but that shouldn't stop you from achieving them. Sometimes dreams can act like a goal, too. Having dreams is something you want to achieve, something you want to happen in your life, and something you can look forward to.

PROGRESS
~Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion. -Hebbel. Progress is something that takes steps to do. Sometimes it takes a long period of time. It's like practice. You have to practice something to earn progress. The dictionary states that forward or onward movement toward a destination; advance or development toward a better, more complete, or more modern condition. When I hear the word progress I think of running, like running a marathon all the way through. You train before you run a marathon so you can run well. Over a certain amount of time, you make progress so by the time the marathon comes, you are ready to run it all the way through. Progress contains practice, gives you strength, and at the end of your progress, you end up reaching your goal.


Dedication is being committed to something you care about, you have a push to do good, and you have a passion for it.

Dedication is having a passion, following your dreams, and gaining progress. You have to have a passion for what you are doing, because passion is a love for whatever you are doing. When you love something so much it becomes a passion. You can dream about what you want to do in life. Follow your dreams and you might be able to do what you want. Having a dream is like having a goal you want to reach. Gaining progress takes sometimes a long time, and makes you better. It's like practice. It ends up giving you strength with whatever you are working on. You should have all these qualities when you want to do something, like a sport, or an extra curricular activity. Dedication, passion, dreams, and progress are good to have for your whole life.

A little about myself!

My name is Chelsea McNeil. I'm 14 and I am a freshman at Grundy Center High School. I am a football and basketball cheerleader and on dance team. I love to facebook, text, hang with friends and family, cruise on my ped-mo, goof around, and have fun. If you want to get to know me more just ask! (: